12 Months Later

My first photo with my little man, May 1, 2010

12 months later, 

My son and I one year later May 1, 2011

Time is such a relative notion. For it to be so quantifiable there is a level of human perception that is key to the recognition of its passage. My son turned 1 year old on May 1^st 2011. Those 12 months have been an inexplicable montage of immersive, fluid time where things would ramp up to high speed or slow down to a delightful crawl. There were moments that I have laughed at his gleeful precociousness, or gasped at his ill-conceived attempts to harm himself. In all this I have always been filled with an inconceivable amount of deep, soul filled love for the little man I see blooming before my eyes. It has been the happiest 12 months of my life in spite of all the personal stress that I have been under with school and work. This has kind of been the best and worst times for me this year, and through all of it my son has been a shimmering beacon of light.

Within a few weeks of that celebration was mother’s day, wherein I had the opportunity to laud my wife with commendations for her exemplary job as my child’s mother. It has been a challenge to shift into the role of father and I have seen her, in many ways, transform herself into a maternal being. The mere act of giving birth to this ball of innocence has in so many ways fashioned many of my wife’s best abilities and capabilities into some pure and loving burst of selfness. I know that she is not always the most confident in herself and her mothering style. There is no manual on how to raise a child by which you can assess your performance. There are no viable arbiters of care taking to score your card. Everyone will administer advice but there are too many moments in the process where you are simply left to your own devices and snap judgments must be made.

As a husband, and a separate individual, raised in a different home under different rules and standards I can not say that I agree with everything my wife does as she parents our child, that would be impossible. I can say that I absolutely trust her to do what she knows is best and what will be the best for our little guy. I know for a fact that he is the first thing on her mind when she wakes up in the morning and the last thing on her mind before she goes to bed at night. I watch as she anxiously frets over his mood and health as he bumbles joyfully from one experience to another. I sat back while she dedicated the entirety of her cognition to making sure that his first birthday would be attended and enjoyed by people who love and support us, and by proxy him also. I know how her values and needs have been hijacked by her concern and dedication to our little prince. And I could not be more in love with her than I am now. Every step on this journey has been an invaluable education on how much capacity I have for love, and how much I can be loved, and operationalize that love through works and deeds. 

Our first family photo 5/1/10

Our Latest family photo, 5/1/11

So this month, which is a hodgepodge of family events and appointments and festivals and shindigs I take this moment to say how thankful and appreciative I am to be blessed to have not only such a capable and dutiful wife, but also a brilliant and jubilant son. My family is truly a gift that I am honored to receive, and serve, and evolve with. There is so much more to see and do, and I look forward to every moment of it.

Ritch Hall

May 2011